friends.

I've been meaning to post about this subject a long long time ago, but I never felt the urge to write it down.

Anyways, I know this person who doesn't believe in the notion of friends. His belief stems down to an incident that occurred in his childhood. His family was betrayed by their "friend". This betrayal could have resulted to the loss of his family's life, including his own. Therefore, growing up, he didn't believe in the connection that is labeled 'friendship'. Any emotion or feelings he had for this relationship has been severed.

My friend does have friends. But they're only people who he hangs out with to have a good time. People who he socialises with. People who he works with. By the sound of it, no one has ever been able to break down the wall he has erected. And to this day, he is still very cautious with his relationship with others.

After learning all of this about him, I took a look at my own relationships.

In many ways, I think my relationship with people are like that. I have people who I can hang out with but never truly call them my friend. I have people who I can spend time with but it wouldn't matter to me if I don't speak with them for long periods of time. Then there are people who are in my 'friendship circle' - people who I usually go out with. And then there are people who I would consider 'close friends'.

But within all these categories, with all the friends that I may have, I don't think I'm really open with any of them. Even with Kim and Anna.

Sigh, I don't know how to continue this post. Probably because I don't really know what I'm trying to say after what I wrote.

My thoughts contradict me sometimes. When I'm with my friends, I don't really think about this stuff. I usually think - 'it's great to have friends, to share with them this moment in time, to be with someone that makes me feel comfortable and allows me to be free and fun'. However, when I'm alone without being in contact with anyone, this is what I think - 'I'm a loner and I can function as one.'

And here's the thing, I don't think I'm a great friend to begin with.

to the port i go~

So it's official, my family will be ditching me for a day. WOW!

This is all because my dad booked plane tickets to go to Vietnam on the 18th when my examination timetable hadn't been released yet. And what do you know, my last exam is on the 18th. Obviously I went to my Student Centre to short it out but they made it very clear that there is no exceptions.

Therefore, I'm leaving a day after everyone.

I get to play for a day!

At first I was thinking of getting Kim and Anna to come to the airport with me. Afterall, they won't see me for another month! Then again, I haven't seen them for 2-3 months already.... ANYWAYS, I thought it'll be fun to get them to be with me before I depart. Then I remembered, Anna sucks at waking up in the morning.

But I countered this with a SLEEPOVER! Since no one (except mummy) will be at home, I doubt anyone would mind if I had a sleepover. MHAHAHA. However, I thought about the idea harder. If I did have a sleepover, I doubt I'll go to sleep early ==>; late to the airport => screwed.

Sigh, I am doomed to spending hours at the airport with nothing to do :/



*goes to cry in corner*

GO GO GO!!

It’s 1.26PM right now and I’m sitting on the Cranbourne train. I wanted to write everything that’s currently on my mind at this very moment. At exactly...1.27PM.

I used to be a very strong swimmer. In primary school, when everyone was split up into groups according to their swimming abilities, I was always put in the top 3. Of course, I learnt too late that the beginners got more fun. They weren’t pushed as hard and weren’t thrown to the deep end for no apparent reason. The sheer horror I got when I was expected to swim laps from the shallow to deep end is indescribable. Not to mention the endless bellyflops.

I’m short. It’s the truth. But back then, I was even shorter. So it’s safe to say that I’m not as scared of the deep end now that I’m a bit taller and older. WRONG. Now, my fear for that depth of water has increased by multitudes. By pure stupidly I found this out when I did a lap in the swimming pool. Everything was going alright until I realised I had reached the 1.8end point. I freaked. I cried. I swam to the edge and clung on for dear life. I am so not going to repeat that anytime soon.
After some consideration I’ve realised that the reason why I’m a lot more terrified of the water now than I was as a kid is because I haven’t swam in a very, very long time. Back when I was in year 1&2 my uncle would take my sister and I to the swimming pool about once every two months. Sometimes even twice! When we moved to Albany, that increased to about once every fortnight. Naturally, living so close to the beach I also took advantage of that.

So yeah, even though I never did laps or anything, I was always in the water. The idea never scared or bothered me. In fact, I always looked forward to it. I didn’t think that my blissful memories would fail me at 18. But sadly, the moment I got into the pool I was petrified and was wondering “WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!” After I calmed down, and since I was already in the water, I did a lap. Got half way, realised I got to the 1.8m point and panicked.

It’s like there’s this bomb in my head that explodes whenever I see “1.8m” when I’m in the water. If it wasn’t for that, I would’ve been able to overtake the person in front of me and continued on, for about another lap, HAHA. Sadly, I am doomed. Doomed to never enjoy the water. Doomed to be stuck on land.

However, I want to change my damnation. I want to be able to swim confidently again, or at least not freak out like a kid. So, today I managed 1.5laps (1 lap = going from one end and back again). By this time next year, I want to be able to do 3 laps.
GO GO GOOOO!! :D

New Kids on the Block - 2 In the Morning

The Good Old Days (1996)

Ngày Mai Troi Lại Sang (Loạn Thế Tinh Thu)



I was only 8 years old when I watched this drama, but I remember loving it with all my heart. Of course, I don't remember anything at all, but it must have been really great to have left such a deep impression on me.

To this day I still remember a pivotal scene. I remember crying myself to sleep after watching it and always hoping to have a love so passionate and pure. The drama was based during WW2, before Japan invaded the country of Taiwan/China. The hero left our heroine to fight in the war. He lost his memory but eventually gains it back. However, he was hit by a bomb (not directly...) which has left him with severe burn scars etc.

I remember when our heroine found him, he was wrapped like a mummy. He told her to leave him be, that no one would ever want to be with someone like him. What happens next? The most romantic back hug I've ever seen.

To this day I have not yet found a drama that can replace this backhug.

For years I have been looking for the English/Vietnamese title of this drama. And finally, I have found it. It's 105 episodes long but hell, I swear I will find it and re-watch it. Oh, and I think this drama was the reason why I never really liked watching dramas based in this time period... my couple had to go through so much :(


EDIT:

Oh man, apparently my romantic backhug is from another drama :/ BUT, it's not my fault I got confused. This main couple has acted in 3 dramas together. And I'm pretty sure I've seen them all...which explains why I was so confused. And all 3 dramas are around the same time period with the similar clothing and hair styles...Oh wells, this means I get to enjoy this pairing in 3 dramas :D The only downer is that I'm pretty sure they're all tearjerkers :(