I feel old...

They were so bulky! I actually have this monitor, it's a Mitsubishi.

It's made from wood and it's got the pretty dials. That's my TV alright!

During my OPTICS classes, my lecturer has gone through technologies such as televisions, projectors, cameras etc. Essentially, anything that involves optics and light. He generally goes through the history or timeline of these products and then continue with the technological advances that have taken place.

I find it amusing that I actually still have a lot of the 'old' technologies lying around my house. Like how my dad still has his film camera back from the late 1980s-early 1990s. IT STILL WORKS! He actually forgot to develop my Holy Communion pictures so when he finally got around to doing it (4-5 years too late dad!), the film was partially damaged. And then there are CRT TVs and computer! I'm suprised that I still have them.

The CRT computer is running on Windows 98. Oh yeah, it's that old. As for for the CRT TV, I had 2 but now we only have one. The one we chucked out was really really really old though. As in, it was made out of WOOD! WOOOOOD!

Oh, there's also the VHS :D

Anywho, I feel old whenever I think of this stuff. But at least I have memories of these items. Kids these days will grow up without probably ever seeing any of these items in real life. Instead, they'll be stuck looking at pictures and just think -'man is my lecturer old'

Claude Kelly - Love You to Death

If love was enough
Then why do I cry
Why do I hear myself
Saying goodbye

Along for the dates
When I was naive
When you'd say those 3 words
And I would believe

I wish that I could
Forgive and forget
But you've told so many lies
I've got nothing left

A dog is a dog
Can't teach him the tricks
You are who you are
And that's all that there is

[CHORUS]
I wanna believe you can change like you promise me
But I got keep on holding my breath
Coz I'm watching you break my heart, and it's killing me
So I refuse to stay and love you to death
I wont, love you to death
(I wont), love you to death
(I wont), no baby I can't
(I wont), love you to death
No matter how much you pay
(I wont), this is the end
(I wont), coz baby I can't
(I wont), love you to death

If all that there was
Was you working late
I'd understand
And baby I'd be okay

But I met the girl
And I know her name
Too late for apologies
You should be ashamed

I wish that I could
Forgive and forget
But you've told so many lies
I've got nothing left

A dog is a dog
Can't teach him the tricks
You are who you are
And that's all that there is

[CHORUS]

This time now I tried my very best
I gave myself one hundred percent
But I can't take this blatant disrespect
So maybe you love (you love) how much it hurts

[CHORUS]

friends.

I've been meaning to post about this subject a long long time ago, but I never felt the urge to write it down.

Anyways, I know this person who doesn't believe in the notion of friends. His belief stems down to an incident that occurred in his childhood. His family was betrayed by their "friend". This betrayal could have resulted to the loss of his family's life, including his own. Therefore, growing up, he didn't believe in the connection that is labeled 'friendship'. Any emotion or feelings he had for this relationship has been severed.

My friend does have friends. But they're only people who he hangs out with to have a good time. People who he socialises with. People who he works with. By the sound of it, no one has ever been able to break down the wall he has erected. And to this day, he is still very cautious with his relationship with others.

After learning all of this about him, I took a look at my own relationships.

In many ways, I think my relationship with people are like that. I have people who I can hang out with but never truly call them my friend. I have people who I can spend time with but it wouldn't matter to me if I don't speak with them for long periods of time. Then there are people who are in my 'friendship circle' - people who I usually go out with. And then there are people who I would consider 'close friends'.

But within all these categories, with all the friends that I may have, I don't think I'm really open with any of them. Even with Kim and Anna.

Sigh, I don't know how to continue this post. Probably because I don't really know what I'm trying to say after what I wrote.

My thoughts contradict me sometimes. When I'm with my friends, I don't really think about this stuff. I usually think - 'it's great to have friends, to share with them this moment in time, to be with someone that makes me feel comfortable and allows me to be free and fun'. However, when I'm alone without being in contact with anyone, this is what I think - 'I'm a loner and I can function as one.'

And here's the thing, I don't think I'm a great friend to begin with.

to the port i go~

So it's official, my family will be ditching me for a day. WOW!

This is all because my dad booked plane tickets to go to Vietnam on the 18th when my examination timetable hadn't been released yet. And what do you know, my last exam is on the 18th. Obviously I went to my Student Centre to short it out but they made it very clear that there is no exceptions.

Therefore, I'm leaving a day after everyone.

I get to play for a day!

At first I was thinking of getting Kim and Anna to come to the airport with me. Afterall, they won't see me for another month! Then again, I haven't seen them for 2-3 months already.... ANYWAYS, I thought it'll be fun to get them to be with me before I depart. Then I remembered, Anna sucks at waking up in the morning.

But I countered this with a SLEEPOVER! Since no one (except mummy) will be at home, I doubt anyone would mind if I had a sleepover. MHAHAHA. However, I thought about the idea harder. If I did have a sleepover, I doubt I'll go to sleep early ==>; late to the airport => screwed.

Sigh, I am doomed to spending hours at the airport with nothing to do :/



*goes to cry in corner*

GO GO GO!!

It’s 1.26PM right now and I’m sitting on the Cranbourne train. I wanted to write everything that’s currently on my mind at this very moment. At exactly...1.27PM.

I used to be a very strong swimmer. In primary school, when everyone was split up into groups according to their swimming abilities, I was always put in the top 3. Of course, I learnt too late that the beginners got more fun. They weren’t pushed as hard and weren’t thrown to the deep end for no apparent reason. The sheer horror I got when I was expected to swim laps from the shallow to deep end is indescribable. Not to mention the endless bellyflops.

I’m short. It’s the truth. But back then, I was even shorter. So it’s safe to say that I’m not as scared of the deep end now that I’m a bit taller and older. WRONG. Now, my fear for that depth of water has increased by multitudes. By pure stupidly I found this out when I did a lap in the swimming pool. Everything was going alright until I realised I had reached the 1.8end point. I freaked. I cried. I swam to the edge and clung on for dear life. I am so not going to repeat that anytime soon.
After some consideration I’ve realised that the reason why I’m a lot more terrified of the water now than I was as a kid is because I haven’t swam in a very, very long time. Back when I was in year 1&2 my uncle would take my sister and I to the swimming pool about once every two months. Sometimes even twice! When we moved to Albany, that increased to about once every fortnight. Naturally, living so close to the beach I also took advantage of that.

So yeah, even though I never did laps or anything, I was always in the water. The idea never scared or bothered me. In fact, I always looked forward to it. I didn’t think that my blissful memories would fail me at 18. But sadly, the moment I got into the pool I was petrified and was wondering “WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!” After I calmed down, and since I was already in the water, I did a lap. Got half way, realised I got to the 1.8m point and panicked.

It’s like there’s this bomb in my head that explodes whenever I see “1.8m” when I’m in the water. If it wasn’t for that, I would’ve been able to overtake the person in front of me and continued on, for about another lap, HAHA. Sadly, I am doomed. Doomed to never enjoy the water. Doomed to be stuck on land.

However, I want to change my damnation. I want to be able to swim confidently again, or at least not freak out like a kid. So, today I managed 1.5laps (1 lap = going from one end and back again). By this time next year, I want to be able to do 3 laps.
GO GO GOOOO!! :D