Sacrifice

For the past month, I have been working for my family at our bakery. They were short on people as many workers took time off to visit their home country. When initially faced with this crisis, my aunty wasn't sure what to do. She had some hopes that other girls would step up to help and she would someone magically schedule everyone to fill up the gaps. But my dear mother simply said, "I'll tell Sophia to work." And that was it. 

I honestly didn't mind that I was working 6 days a week. It got me out of the house and I was working, which I had given up hope on because of the constant rejection. The only thing I regret is that my shift is always in the middle of the day and by the end I would be too tired to consider going out. So my social life took a backseat (amazingly enough, I still managed to see Karen at least once a week).

When I got my pay it would go straight to the bank. I've been saving up for a while now but it's still a small amount. I live off my youth allowance which pays for my necessities (like transportation, dental and phone bills) and for food and clothes. So after a month, it was nice to see how much I've saved up. It wasn't much, but it's still something. 

Now that I'm back in university, I am officially dependent on my youth allowance again. However, to make the most of it, I have decided that my new goal is to send only $10 a day, which includes transportation. That's right. Only $10. 

I didn't magically decide that $10 was my goal. The number arose after some calculations I made regarding my necessities in consideration to my youth allowance, which would allow me to save $5 a day. Therefore, with this goal, I will essentially be living on $4 a day as $6 would go to public transport. 

I'm looking forward to the challenge that this will present. Although I will be living on $10 a day, I know that exceptions will be made when I'm with my friends or need something. I am aiming to cut out everything else and to be mindful of my money.

The money that I save up will be used for one purpose only. My trip to Vietnam with Tuyen,  JP and Alyssa. We've planned this trip since high school. Some concessions had to be made because my graduation ceremony will be in December so I won't be able to tour the rest of Asia with them. But Vietnam is my main priority. I miss my family and can't wait to surprise them with an unannounced visit. 

I've been living on $10 for a week now and so far, it's been successful. I just hope that this can last till the end of the year.

Oh Merlin.

After 5 years, Merlin concluded it's run on the 24th December 2012. I started watching Merlin because I have always been interested in the Arthurian legends. Another factor is that it involves magic. I'm a sucker for any narrative that includes magic, especially when the world it inhabits is rich with characters and conflicts that I am invested in. Which is why it pains me to know that there will never be any new Merlin episodes with the cast and characters that I have grown to love.

Throughout its run, I have occasionally been let down and was upset with the show. I ultimately forgave it and trusted that the writers knew what they were doing. However, this changed. Drastically. After watching the finale episode I'm left with a very bitter feeling. I have never been so upset with a final episode than I have "The Diamond of the Day". The episode came in two parts, and it's the second part that makes me very close to regret ever watching Merlin.

Hence, the remainder of this post will be full of rants that I need to let out.

= WARNING, SPOILERS AHEAD!! =

The battle that was constantly spoken of throughout the season finally occurred and man did I love the resolution of it. Merlin appeared (as an old man) and defeated the Saxons with lighting. That's right, lighting. He killed everyone in the vicinity of Arthur, and ordered the dragon away. It was epic, and nearly everything I imagined and wanted. If only he got Mordred... but then the prophecy wouldn't have been fulfilled.

Speaking of Mordred, he was a character who's role in Arthur's death was so hyped that when the reason behind his motivation was revealed, it felt quite weak. It was too sudden and all because of a girl? Sigh. If only Mordred witnessed Arthur's leniency and his offer to allow Kara to save herself. Arthur shouldn't be blamed for her death, she chose it after all. As for Arthur and Mordred's battle... it was such a disappointment. The only thing I can say is at least Mordred died. So much wasted potential when it came to Mordred and his character development was so so weak.

[I was also expecting Kilgharrah (Great Dragon) and Aithusa to battle it out, like the legends. But that never happened.]

Merlin: Why do  you want to do this?
Gwaine: Same reason as you. To help a friend.
Merlin: Arthur's lucky to have us.
Gwaine: Not Arthur.

A character that I quite liked died in this episode, for no apparent really except to add onto the pain. Gwaine was a great character and I loved him the minute he was introduced. He and Merlin hit it off immediately and remained quite close throughout the series.  I always felt that he was supposed to have a more important and prominent role in Merlin's life, but he was regulated to being just a Camelot knight. He was like a replacement for Lancelot, who sacrificed himself for Merlin (I cry inside because of Lancelot's death. HE DIDN'T HAVE TO DIE YOU STUPID WRITERS!!). I thought that Merlin was supposed to share with Gwaine his secret, but it never happened. Not only because they were close, but because of Gwaine's knowledge of magic. He would've been a fine confidant who would've accepted Merlin's magic quite easily. What a waste of potential...not to mention the waste of potential bromance.

Back to the  point, why on earth did Gwaine have to die? His death was due to his desire to kill Morgana, but was killed instead. As the scene unfolded before my eyes, I just couldn't stop thinking how stupid it all was. Gwaine isn't stupid. He knows that Morgana is a powerful sorceress. So what chance of survival did he have against her? I reckon that this was just the writer's way to let Morgana know where Arthur is. It's just too contrived to believe that Gwaine would be stupid enough to track down Morgana. Also, for Gwaine to die believing that he failed Merlin and Arthur? That's just horrible.

Now Morgana. How anti-climatic was her death? Killed by the sword forged from a dragon's breath. For 3 seasons, Morgana has managed to evade death. Her magic has gotten so powerful that she is acknowledged as a High Priestess and yet she was killed so simply and easily. If she was going to die by a sword, why didn't it happen earlier? Because we were expecting a full blown magical battle between her and Merlin! To finally settle who is the strongest and will be the last to survive (like Harry Potter and Voldemort!) I was also expecting a heated conversation between the two, but no. I got nothing. Like I said, very very anti-climatic.

Arthur: Why are you doing this? Why are you still behaving like a servant?
Merlin: It's my destiny. As it has been since the day we met. I do this, because of who  you are. Without you, Camelot's nothing.
Arthur: There was a time when that was true. Not now.
Merlin: There will never be another like you Arthur. I also do this, because you're my friend and I don't want to lose you.

Throughout the series, we are repeatedly reminded that Merlin's destiny is to serve and aid Arthur to unite the Five Kingdoms to become Albion. It is implied that magic will be able to roam free and be accepted once more. BUT THE SHOW F**KING KILLS ARTHUR OFF. HE DIES. SO YEAH. ALL THAT IS GONE. I feel so cheated because Arthur's death marks the end to any of the "prophecies" that's been foretold ever happening. Especially because throughout the years, I've been waiting for the day Arthur and Merlin unite the lands and for him to accept Merlin's magic. For Merlin to finally be recognised for what he is and live without fear of being persecuted. For Merlin to officially be Arthur's advisor and fulfil the other stories part of the Arthurian legends.

Consequently, I'm supposed to believe that the unification and acceptance of magic occurs off screen (through Gwen and probably Gaius). WELL SCREW YOU SHOW.  Which just reminds me, I only found out that Merlin was ending at season 5 half way through the show. After the news, I was seriously upset at the show because it had wasted episodes on stupid, meaningless stories. Who cares about Gwen turning evil for four freaking episodes when there's limited time to explore Merlin and Arthur's friendship when tested with the truth? Bromance over romance any day, especially when I dislike the romance to begin with. (It was seriously out of no where, and I thought they were like brother and sister more than lovers.)

But really, did Arthur really have to die (how the hell did a fragment of Mordred's sword manage to snap off and embed itself in Arthur's chest)? Was travelling to Avalon the only way to save him?  There have been objects introduced such as "The Cup of Life" that triumphs death. Or the healing powers of a dragon's breath, which was demonstrated in the final episode of season 4. Oh hell, couldn't Merlin use his magic? He IS the "most powerful sorcerer to ever live". How can a sword, even if forged from a dragon's breath, be a trial for Merlin? He's saved others from worse and dire fates than that! Also, if Avalon really was the only way to save Arthur's wound, couldn't Merlin have called for Kilgharrah (Great Dragon) to fly them  there and save time? He is a Dragonlord after all. Another mystery is why Kilgharrah placed Merlin and Arthur at the edge of Avalon, COULDN'T HE BLOODY PLACED THEM AT AVALON?! AND NOT TALK JUST SO MERLIN CAN DO HIS MAGIC?! ARGGGHHH. THEY NEVER WANTED ARTHUR TO LIVE!!

Anyway. the only scenes that redeems the show are those between Merlin and Arthur. They were poignant and beautiful, and I couldn't ask for more. Arthur's reaction to learning of Merlin's magic was realistic, and watching him accept and be thankful for it was wonderful. To watch him see what Merlin does for him on a daily basis was heart wrenching, especially when he realised just how important it really was. See, this is what I wanted more of. More time spent on Arthur's acceptance of Merlin's magic and one day bringing magic back to Camelot. But no, the stupid show only gave me 30 minutes worth of it.

Finally, the last few minutes of the episode really pained me to watch. To see Merlin as an old man, probably more than a thousand years old, roaming around waiting for Arthur's return was just heartbreaking. By then, he would've lost his best friend, his mentor and anyone he cared for. Since he is magic itself, it's not hard to believe that he is immortal. But with immortality comes the pain of living and losing all your dear ones. I just don't want to believe that Merlin's had to endure that by himself, waiting for someone who will probably never come. I hate you writers. (I also thought the scene was stupid and unnecessary the more I thought about it...)

Also, did Merlin ever return to Camelot? His friend is gone and there really isn't anything holding him there anymore. He might have travelled back to say farewell to Gaius and Gwen, but Camelot holds no meaning to him without Arthur. *cries* My poor heart. I can't take this anymore.

Another thing I keep wondering is just how powerful is Merlin? Touted as the most powerful sorcerer to ever live, I was never quite sure of his magical capabilities. It frustrated me to no end when he could do some healing spells in one episode but disregard them in another. It just made me believe that the writers purpose of doing that is so that any human that finds out about Merlin's magic can conveniently die. Also, can't Merlin like...apparate? Sorry, Harry Potter term. Um, can't Merlin disappear and appear in any location he desires? Seriously, what kind of powers does Merlin have?!

I chalk up all my frustration to the writers for their inconsistencies (seriously, what I've listed are but a few ways that Arthur's life could be save) and decision to ignore simple logic. Such bad, crappy writing. Another quibble I have with the writers is that they've deviated from the Arthurian legends for so long, why chose to follow it for the finale? WHY BITCHES WHY!?! Why not make another season to tie up all the loose ends and give me more Merlin and Arthur? BBC even offered you a sixth season but you declined, saying that you know how the end will unfold. BUT YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU?! Hardly any storyline was tied up and everything was rushed! I'm making sure to steer clear from this writing team from now on. I can't live through another messed up nearly perfect show like Merlin ever again. I just can't.

Good old Killester

I'm pretty sure most people have heard the story. On October the 31st Tina and I had a very long Facebook chat, it was our way of procrastinating. The conversation started out with us complaining about our brothers' schools and how unsatisfied we are with them. One thing lead to another, and I convinced Tina to write a letter to Mr Black since he did teach us in year 10, and was supposedly our other homeroom teacher. (She originally intended to send it to Ms Di Stefano)

Below is the letter that she sent.

Hello Mr Black!!

How are you?

Not sure if you remember me, but I'm Tina Te, from class of 2010.

Just dropping an email because Sophia Nguyen and I have had a moment somewhat close to an epiphany.

We have realised (two years after graduating), how lucky we are to be females, and to have attended Killester. This is in addition to how much we enjoyed our Killester experience already. But now that our younger brothers have entered high school, we've realised that there's just no male high school that is comparable to Killester. We are most grateful to have spent 6 years with great teachers, a positive environment, and low school fees.

I don't think we're alone in this mindset. There are probably many other graduates who have also reached this conclusion. However, I hope this message is passed onto all teachers, that there are students (albeit, past) that do recognise and acknowledge all the extra effort Killester staff have put into the school community, to really make it stand out amongst the rest.
Furthermore, this positive attitude from every teacher comes so naturally that we were both actually under the impression that every school was like this. Now from our brothers' experiences at school, we've found out that we are the lucky ones and that Killester really is a gem of a school.

Thank you to all teachers again, past and present. You're still being thought of by Killester alumni, as creepy as that sounds.

From ex-Killester student, class of 2010,
Tina Te

PS. Sophia wants to add that the last time she visited Killester, she couldn't find you. We may be visiting again soon :D

Amazingly enough, we've gotten replies from teachers. However, I'm still pressed that they all spelt my name wrong. They spelt it as Sofia. I wouldn't have mind if the replies were from teacher who didn't know me...but the replies were all from teachers who have previously taught me. So yeah, quite pressed (and that's not even considering the fact that Tina spelt my name right).

Last Sunday, to my surprise, my cousin informed me that the letter was published in the Killester weekly newspaper. She was in disbelief at first, but when I confirmed that I was indeed involved, she was embarrassed.Very embarrassed.

Tomorrow will be the day that I visit good old Killester with Tina, Sophie, Lisa, JP and Alyssa. I really can't wait to return. Although I visited the school not too long ago, I only managed to catch a few teachers (among them was Mr McBride). Unfortunately, I've learnt since then that Mr McBride is leaving and Mr Kupsch will also depart next year.

Just thinking about them leaving makes me sad. They were one of my favourite teachers. They were both very interesting people and had so much life and spirit. They really enjoyed teaching and I can honestly say they're one of the few teachers who I'll remember fondly for the rest of my life. Funnily enough, both teachers taught me RE.

Of course, I'm looking forward to stalking down my other teachers. It's just Mr McBride, Mr Kupsch and Mr Black (lol) are at the top of the list. Can't wait! Hehe~

I can see the future...

[originally posted on 7th November]

Definitely going to catch more sunsets~

....and it looks very productive.

Below is a list of things that I'm planning to do after the season of hell is over. It's always during this period of time that I want to give up, especially since I'm not particularly enjoying any of the subjects I'm studying. Every day is so bleak that I end up thinking of the bliss that's to follow. The list below is far from complete, so I'll probably update it periodically.

• Organise university notes into folders that I will buy from DAISO/Officeworks
• Wear my earrings more often
• Delete contacts on my phone
• Save up my money for possible trip with friends
• Prepare work for Jimmy to do during the holidays
• Make chapter tests for Jimmy 
• Prepare Jimmy for the Melbourne High test
• Time and Encode Eun Ji and Seo In Guk on GO Show
• Time and Encode Eun Ji and Seo In Guk on Mnet Mcountdown BTS
• Buy more photo albums
• Sort out family photos 
• Sort through wardrobe and donate anything I don't wear anymore
• Maybe create a second batch of letters that will go unanswered
• Finish reading Jane Eyre
• Finish reading The Time Traveller's Wife
• Visit the local library more often
• Organise external hard drives
• Sort through useless files on computer
• Format computer to Windows 7
• Catch up with Detective Conan - anime and manga
• Catch up with other neglected manga like Goong, The Bride of the Water God, Dengeki Daisy
• Catch up with Once Upon a Time, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Merlin, Revenge, 2 Broke Girls, NCIS, White Collar
• Finish watching Bu Bu Jing Xin, Nice Guy, Arang and the Magistrate, To the Beautiful You, Rooftop Prince, King 2 Heart, Papadol,  Rich Man Poor Woman, A Gentleman's Dignity, Shut Up Flower Boy Band, Biscuit Teacher Star Candy, Flower Boy Ramyun Shop, Queen In-hyun’s Man
• Start watching I Miss You, Full House Take 2, Vampire Prosecuter 1 + 2
• Invest in two new external hard drive - one for me, one for the family photos and videos
• Learn how to drive
• Attempt to write in my journal everyday (again)
• Finish sorting out my junk boxes
• Continue with scrap book
• Buy more scrap book paper and stickers
• Explore a new suburb
• Go to the beach and build sandcastles
• Touch up my resume
• Try to find a job 
• Get a job
  
• Re-enrol for university
• Figure out what I want to do at university next year, career counselling?
• Prepare for the GAMSAT
• Stay out later 
• Start on project #2 
• Learn to cook a new dish at least once every two weeks
• Try to see Anna and Kim at least once every two weeks
• Catch up with someone at least once a week
• High tea or classy buffet with Yen, Karen and Sophie before she leaves
• Yumcha with Kim and Anna
• Visit Killester with Tina, Lisa, Sophie. JP and Alyssa with personally made cupcakes
• Lunch with Sandra and Cameron
• Lunch with Vania and Nicholas (getting my memo back! yay~)
• Coffee/lunch/shopping spree with Karen and Andrew
• Coffee date with Karen and Tony
• Have a belated birthday lunch/dinner with Tuyen
• LAN party with Kim, Karen and Alyssa 
• Stalk Winnie down so she can write in my memo book
• Stalk down Peter or Edward for my memo book
• Hang out with Tina, Connie and Ryan
• 1000 Steps with Tina, Julie, Amanda and Theresa  
• 1000 Steps with Karen, Ron, Yen and JP

Why I hate going to the dentist/braces

• My teeth hurts after a session and the food I can eat is very limited.
• Food gets stuck on my braces, so I spend quite some time (using my tongue or toothpick) to make sure it gets removed. No one wants to see me talking with food on my braces do they? :P
• I wake up with my teeth biting my tongue. 
• Sometimes I have to pay $300-500 for a session, which means I'm very poor for the rest of the month. Which is alright considering the limited food I can eat...
• I have developed a sensitive gag reflex. 
• When a new helper (probably on work placement) gets involved with my teeth. My gums have suffered so much at their hands.
• My mouth is repeatedly clawed by the wires as they try to re-adjust after being re-wired.
• I constantly know what blood in my mouth tastes.
• My toothbrushes die fast.
• When my dentist is sick and continuely makes mistakes. He gets agitated and my poor teeth are the victim for his anger outlet. 
• When my dentist has a hard time re-wiring my braces because my mouth is small. He constantly sighs and yanks just that little harder.
• I fear for my teeth and believe that there's a high chance of them falling out due to the strength my dentist applies why he yanks at them.